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Water Chemistry, Simplified

From the Denver Rocky Mountain News, reporting on answers to health and science 
questions from junior high, high school and college students:

1. H2O is hot water, CO2 is cold water. 

2. Water is composed of two gins: oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. 
Hydrogin is gin and water. 

3. If you smell an odorless gas, it's probably carbon monoxide. 

I have no doubt the students who gave these answers are authoritatively posting 
on UseNet as we speak, err, type, err, read.  Whatever.