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Re: Aquatic Plants Digest V6 #43

At 06:05 AM 2/5/2003, you wrote:

>Date: Tue, 04 Feb 2003 15:43:16 -0500
>From: Thomas Barr <tcbiii at earthlink_net>
>Subject: The Plant Bomb
>Well just got back from a recombinant genetics plant lecture/slide show.
>The have a new strain of "hell weed" the Department of Defense has been
>calling it's Plant Bomb in the upper echelons of generaldum in the
>phytoattack unit in the Plantagon (The large leaf shape federal building).
>It seems they have been able to induce nerdy scientist to take specific
>parts of DNA from Kudzu, Poison oak, Hemlock, blackbrush algae, Sargassum,
>Duckweed, Stinging Nettle, a few toxic Dinoflagellates and the Tumble weed
>which is actually native to the steppes of Central Asia, not the desert
>southwest like Hollyweird Western movies might have you believe, and fuse
>them into a single plant. Some DNA transfers did not go as planned.
>     The fast growth of the Kudzu's tendrals are actually known to have
>killed four people in AL while they slept last year. Blackbrush algae easily
>attaches the brow and quickly engulf the victims sight, hearing and sense of
>taste. Blinking black bush syndrome or Hairy black tongue syndrome. Deadly
>poison oak dust can be whipped up by the wind and inhaled much like mustard
>gas but with far more itching in all the wrong places. The duckweed you just
>can't get rid of etc and the Stinging Nettle keeps stinging till the
>duckweed is removed much like when one steps on a yellow jacket's nest. Add
>the dispersion of the Tumble weed and it's ability to survive in the desert
>and it is a self propagating lethal "hell weed" as one USA general commented
>on it. The hemlock gene seems to add a lethal fume when burned that has kill
>at least man's logic before, but he was Greek. The Sargassum possesses a
>hydrogen concentrating gas "bomb" inside their pnuematiphores. These have
>had their growth regulator removed and become very large. Again, when burnt
>these have rather explosive result. Dinoflagelletes have a nasty spike they
>use when parasitizing fish that they impale into the sides of fish causing
>great pain. The DNA was irradiated and caused to mutate yield a large size
>calcium carbonate spike about 12 inches long that could bring down a full
>grown elk. They have had a lot of trouble incorporating this part of DNA
>into the seedlings. It seems if they fire harpoons from the Algal Ball O'
>Death prematurely there are of no use but they do grow back, just slowly. A
>couple of lab technicians got too close when harvesting some smaller culture
>samples and got half crucified in the process. They showed some slides of
>the chief scientist with a pair of channel lock pliers taking care of the
>Lecture became more a side show of craters and dead lab rats and cattle in
>the testing site. Said one general, "We need to put this to the real field
>test, lab animal just aren't the same when they blow or of spit their lungs
>out into pieces." As luck would it, another general more privy to the
>political aspects of the military, whispered, "We have already taken this
>into account sir, I'll debrief you shortly".
>But scared that it might be used as a Bio-terror weapon on the USA's golf
>courses, the generals appear to be giving the project it's final death blow,
>War without a game of golf in between battles? It just wouldn't not be the
>same. The potential for it running rampant on America's golf havens is far
>to great to use such a weapon of Golf destruction. Well, I must admit the
>real slide show was rather a bore, I just had to invent one.
>Tom Barr

Oh god, thats hilarous! Thanks for the laugh, i needed that today!

Berne Kairunas
Metro Detroit Aquatic Plant Supply - www.mdaps.biz - online PMDD supplies
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