RE: [APD] Re:[Redacted]

["Laith Arif" <laith at swissonline_ch>]

[Redacted]

The Annual Stella Awards.


The Stellas are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilled
coffee on 
herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella 
Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.


Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonald's, the teens
who 
allege that eating at McDonald's has made them fat, was filed after the
2003 
award voting was closed. This suit will top
the 2004 awards list without question.

THIS YEAR'S AWARDS GO TO:

5th place (Tied).
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of
her 
peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running 
inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably 
surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms. 
Robertson's son.

5th place (Tied).

19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses
when 
his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman
apparently 
did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was
trying 
to steal the hubcaps.

5th place (Tied).

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, PA was leaving a house he had just finished

robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to
go 
up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could not
re-enter 
the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when
he 
pulled it shut. The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself

locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he
found 
and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance
claiming 
the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the
tune 
of $500,000.

4th place.

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical 
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's 
Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The
award 
was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a
little 
provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence
into 
the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd place.

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, 
Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her
coccyx 
(tailbone) The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown
it at 
her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an argument.

2nd place.

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in a 
neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and

knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was 
trying to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room to avoid paying the
$3.50 
cover charge.
She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place.

This year's runaway winner was Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, OK. Mr. 
Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago motorhome. On his trip home
from 
an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise 
control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back
and 
make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the RV left the freeway, 
crashed and overturned.
Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual
that 
he could not actually do this! The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a
new 
Winnebago Motorhome. The company actually changed their manuals on the
basis 
of this suit just in case there were any other complete morons buying
their 
recreational vehicles.

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