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Every time I see a website or book describing the environmental requirements
of a plant or fish, for instance a GH 8.0, KH 5.0, PH 7.0, I laugh and think
of this:

What if aliens came down and captured an Eskimo for a pet. They'd bring him
back to their planet and have on a species sheet:

Eskimo will flourish if kept in the following environment: Keep at a
temperature of less than 5 degrees. Feed sparingly and make him work hard
for food. Give 24 hours of darkness for 6 months and then 24 hours of light.