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NFC: Y2K bedtime story
I'am hoping you all had a Great Weekend and next weekend doesn't end as this
one in the joke did. JiM C.
T'WAS THE WEEK AFTER CHRISTMAS
AND ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE,
NOT ONE PC WAS WORKING
NOT EVEN A MOUSE.
I TURNED ON THE POWER
BUT NOTHING WAS WORKING,
I GRABBED THE COMPUTER
AND STARTED BANGING AND JERKING.
I LAID OUT THREE GRAND
FOR THIS BIG WAD OF SPIT,
ON JANUARY 1ST THE DAMN
THING TURNED TO SHIT.
WHEN I THREW IT OUT THE WINDOW
IT MADE SUCH A CLATTER,
MY NEIGHBOR JUST CALLED
TO SEE WHAT'S THE MATTER.
I TURNED ON THE TV
THE CABLE IS DOWN,
MY MICROWAVE OVEN
IS MAKING A WEIRD SOUND.
MY NEW VCR
IS AS DEAD AS A ROCK,
NOT ONE LIGHT IS BLINKING
NOT EVEN THE CLOCK.
IT'S TWENTY BELOW
THE PEAK OF SNOW SEASON,
THE FURNACE WON'T WORK
THE PIPES ARE ALL FREEZING.
THIS COULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED
AT A WORSE TIME.
I THINK I HAVE FROSTBITE
ON MY BEHIND.
I LAUGHED FOR A SECOND
AND THOUGHT IT ALL FUNNY,
THEN A CALL FROM MY BANK
IN REGARDS TO MY MONEY.
"WE MANAGED YOUR PENSION
AND SAVINGS WITH CARE,
BUT FOR SOME ODD REASON
YOUR MONEY'S NOT THERE.
WE WERE Y2K READY
WE'D THOUGHT WE'D BE HEROES,
BUT REGRET TO INFORM YOU
YOUR BALANCE IS..ZERO!"
I DROP THE RECEIVER
TO THE BATHROOM I RUSH,
I PUSH DOWN THE HANDLE
THE TOILET WON'T FLUSH.
I TURNED ON THE FAUCET
NOT ONE DROP HITS THE SINK,
I HEAD OUT THE DOOR
TO THE PUB FOR A DRINK.
I JUMP IN THE CAR
TURN THE KEY IN THE SWITCH,
IT ONLY GOES "CLICK"
I SCREAM,"SON OF A BITCH!"
A COMPUTERIZED IGNITION
HAS JUST SEALED MY FATE,
NOT SET UP FOR THE "2000" DATE.
I TWITCH LIKE A MADMAN
THIS CANNOT BE TRUE,
NO CAR, HEAT, OR MONEY,
WHAT THE HELL CAN I DO?
SHOUTING OBSCENITIES
AS I RAN OUT OF SIGHT,
HAPPY Y2K TO ALL
IT'S BEEN ONE HELL OF A NIGHT!