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NFC: RE: dams

As long as you are bleating dams, human vs. Beaver I thought the
following might lighten up the discussion



   Subject: dam request
  This was an actual letter from and reply to the Michigan Department of
Environmental Quality.
  State of Michigan
  Reply To:
  Grand Rapids District Office
  State Office Building 6th Floor
  350 Ottawa NW
  Grand Rapids MI 49503-2341
  John Engler, Governor
  Department Of Environmental Quality
  Hollister Building, PO Box 30473,
  Lansing MI 48909-7973
  Russell J. Harding, Director
  December 17, 1997
  Mr. Ryan DeVries
  2088 Dagget
  Pierson, MI 49339
  Dear Mr. DeVries:
  SUBJECT:  DEQ File No. 97-59-0023-1 T11N, R10W, Sec. 20, Montcalm
  It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental
Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above
referenced parcel of property.  You have been certified as the legal
landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:
  Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet
stream of Spring Pond.
  A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity.
A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been
issued.  Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is
in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural
Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of
1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled
Laws, annotated.  The Department has been informed that one or both of
the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and
flooding at downstream locations.  We find that dams of this nature are
inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted.
  The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all
unauthorized activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a
free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from
the strewn channel.  All restoration work shall be completed no later
than January 31, 1998.
  Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so
that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.  Failure
to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the
site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement
action.  We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in
this matter.
  Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any
  David L. Price
  District Representative
  Land and Water Management Division
     ----Reply Letter----
  Dear Mr. Price:
  Re:   DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N, R10W, Sec 20; Montcalm County
  Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been handed to me to respond
to.  You sent out a great deal of carbon copies to a lot of people, but
you neglected to include their addresses.  You will, therefore, have to
send them a copy of my response.
  First of all, Mr. Ryan DeVries is not the legal landowner and/or
contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan - I am the legal owner and
a couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of
constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet
stream of my Spring Pond.  While I did not pay for, nor authorize their
dam project, I think they would be highly offended you call their
skillful use of natural building materials "debris."  I would like to
challenge you to attempt to emulate their dam project any dam time
and/or any dam place you choose.  I believe I can safely state there is
no dam way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam
resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam
determination and/or their dam work ethic.
  As to your dam request the beavers first must fill out a dam permit
prior to the start of this type of dam activity, my first dam question
to you is: are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers
or do you require all dam beavers throughout this State to conform to
said dam request?  If you are not discriminating against these
particular beavers, please send me completed copies of all those other
applicable beaver dam permits.  Perhaps we will see if there really is a
dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural
Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts
of1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled
Laws annotated.
  My first concern is - aren't the dam beavers entitled to dam legal
representation?  The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and
are unable to pay for said dam representation - so the State will have
to provide them with a dam lawyer.  The Department's dam concern that
either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event causing
dam flooding is proof we should leave the dam Spring Pond Beavers alone
rather than harassing them and calling their dam names.  If you want the
dam stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition - contact
the dam beavers - but if you are going to arrest them (they obviously
did not pay any dam attention to your dam letter-being unable to read
English) - be sure you read them their dam Miranda rights first.  As for
me, I am not going to cause more dam flooding or dam debris jams by
interfering with these dam builders.  If you want to hurt these dam
beavers - be aware I am sending a copy of your dam letter and this
response to PETA.

  If your dam Department seriously finds all dams of this nature
inherently hazardous and truly will not permit their existence in this
dam State - I seriously hope you are not selectively enforcing this dam
policy - or once again both I and the Spring Pond Beavers will scream
  In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build
their dam unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is
green and water flows downstream.  They have more dam right than I to
live and enjoy Spring Pond.  So, as far as the beavers and I are
concerned, this dam case can be referred for more dam elevated
enforcement action now.  Why wait until 1/31/98?  The Spring Pond
Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no dam way for
you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then.
  In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real
environmental quality (health) problem; bears are actually defecating in
our woods.  I definitely believe you should be persecuting the
defecating bears and leave the dam beavers alone.  If you are going to
investigate the beaver dam, watch your step!  (The bears are not careful
where they dump!)
  Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to
contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to
your dam office.
  Stephen L. Tvedten
  xc: PETA