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Please take this in the spirit of internet humor...but take it to heart.

>1. Big companies don't do business via chain letter. Bill Gates is not
>giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving you a free vacation. There is no
>baby food company issuing class-action checks. You can relax; there is no need
>to pass it on "just in case it's true." Furthermore, just because someone said
>in the message, four generations back, that "we checked it out and it's
>does not actually make it true.
>2. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up in a
>bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears it happened to their
>cousin. If you are insistent on believing the kidney-theft ring stories,
>please see: http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm
>And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued
>requests for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell their
>stories. None have." That's "none," as in "ZERO". Not even your friend's
>3. Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe. And even if they
>do, we all have it. And even if you don't, you can get a copy at:
>http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html Then, if you make the recipe, decide
>the cookies are that awesome, feel free to pass the recipe on. (But I hear
>they stink.)
>4. We all know all 500 ways to drive your roommates crazy, irritate co-
>workers, gross-out bathroom stall neighbors, and creep out people on an
>elevator. We also know exactly how many engineers, college students,
>usenet posters, and people from each and every world ethnicity it takes to
>change a light bulb.
>5. Even if the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium that
>went to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY think this
>information would reach the public via an AOL chain-letter?
>6. There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, ever, ever
>forward any email containing any virus warning unless you first confirm
>it at an actual site of an actual company that actually deals with virii.
>Try: http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/hoax.html And even then, don't forward
>it. We don't care.
>7. If your CC: list is regularly longer than the actual content of your
>message, you're probably going to be punished eternally. (Ever heard of
>8. If you're using Outlook, IE, or Netscape to write email, turn off "HTML
>encoding." Those of us on Unix shells can't read it, and don't care
>enough to save the attachment and then view it with a web browser, since
>you're probably forwarding us a copy of the Neiman-Marcus Cookie Recipe
>9. If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message from a
>friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of headers showing
>everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months. It sure wouldn't
>hurt to get rid of all the ">" that begin each line. Besides, if it has
>gone around that many times, we've probably already seen it.
>10. Craig Shergold in England is not dying of cancer or anything else at
>this time and would like everyone to stop sending him their business cards.
>He apparently is also no longer a "little boy" either.