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NFC: Fwd: SSFF - Klingon Programmer's Top 12 (fwd)
In light of the various computer problems some members have had of late, I
thought this was appropriate.
12) "Specifications are for the weak and timid!"
11) "This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if
I am to do battle with this code!"
10) "You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the
9) "Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your
8) "What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software
'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers
and quality assurance people in its wake."
7) "Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have
'arguments' - and they ALWAYS WIN THEM."
6) "Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the
5) "I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth
contest. They will not concern us again."
4) "A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!"
3) "By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my
family. Prepare to die!"
2) "You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you
1) "Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it!
Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!"