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non-killie: Handy e-mail guidelines
Email Facts Of Life
1. Big companies don't do business via chain letter. Bill Gates is not
giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving you a free vacation. There
is no baby food company issuing class-action checks. You can relax;
there is no need to pass it on "just in case it's true". Furthermore,
just because someone said in the message, four generations back,
that "we checked it out and it's legit", does not actually make it true.
2. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up in
a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a
friend swears it happened to their cousin. If you are hellbent on
believing the kidney-theft ring stories, please see:
http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm
And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued
requests for actual victims of organ
thieves to come forward and tell their stories. None have." That's
"none" as in "zero". Not even your friend's cousin.
3. Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe. And even if
they do, we all have it. And even if you
don't, you can get a copy at: http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html
Then, if you make the recipe, decide the cookies are that awesome,
feel free to pass the recipe on.
4. We all know all 500 ways to drive your roommates crazy, irritate
co-workers gross out bathroom stall
neighbors and creep out people on an elevator. We also know exactly
how many engineers, college students, Usenet posters and people from each
and every world ethnicity it takes to change a lightbulb.
5. Even if the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium that
went to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY think this
information would reach the public via an AOL chain-letter?
6. There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, ever,
ever forward any email containing any virus
warning unless you first confirm it at an actual site of an actual
company that actually deals with virii. Try: http://www.norton.com/ or
http://www.symantec.com. And even then, don't forward it. We don't care.
7. If your CC: list is regularly longer than the actual content of
your message, you're probably going to Hell.
8. If you're using Outlook, IE, or Netscape to write email, turn off
the "HTML encoding." [hear, hear!] Those of us on Unix shells can't
read it, and don't care enough to save the attachment and then view it
with a web browser, since you're probably forwarding us a copy of the
Neiman Marcus Cookie Recipe anyway.
9. If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message
from a friend, at least have the decency to
trim the eight miles of headers showing everyone else who's received it
over the last 6 months. It sure wouldn't
hurt to get rid of all the ">" that begin each line [I do that!].
Besides, if it has gone around that many times - we've probably
already seen it.
10.Craig Shergold in England is not dying of cancer or anything else
at this time and would like everyone to stop sending him their business
cards. He apparently is also no longer a "little boy" either. Nor can you
get into the Guinness Book of World Records this way anymore (the rules
were rewritten specifically to prevent this.)