Ken Normandin and I have worked out a new bidding plan for the AKA
convention auction that will solve all of the hobby's problems. We are
so confident that this will solve all of the AKA's problems that we
believe that KillieTalk can be shut down as there will nothing more to
be said so email traffic on the list will drop to zero.
The plan is quite simple really and is an extension of the master
breeder bidding concept put forward earlier. We expanded on that idea
recognizing that one's skill with in a given class of killies doesn't
necessarily translate into another. For example, it would be a mistake
and perhaps unethical to allow a master breeder who specializes in
Nothos to bid on a rare Riv. The outcome could be disastrous, perhaps
even resulting in the loss of all little brown fishes from the hobby. (I
know some would actually appreciate that, but the purpose of this email
is to solve all of the AKA's problems and not address any conspiracy
theories.)
The result is a color coded list of paddles where each color designates
a class of species where the master breeder is allowed bid on the rare
and difficult species. The determination of such species is done by
voice vote by all of those present in the room as each bag comes up for
bid. Special agents in the back of the room on a leased phone bank would
take proxy votes from members unable to attend. Likewise, a special
Java Script program on the AKA web site would collect votes from a live
web cam of the auction. Anyone can vote, even if they are not a member
since they could likely purchase these fish on Aquabid anyway, so who
needs member benefits.
The auctioneer would then begin the auction using the below color codes
to authorize approved master breeder bidders:
Red Paddle - Master Notho Breeder
Blue Paddle - Master Aphyosemion Breeder
Purple Paddle - Master Scriptaphyosemion (Roloffia) Breeder
Yellow Paddle - Master Fundulopanchax Breeder
Cyan Paddle - Master Diapteron Breeder
Green Paddle - Master Chromaphyosemion Breeder
Brown Paddle - Master Rivulus Breeder
Tan Paddle - Master SAA Breeder
Gray Paddle - Master U.S. Native Killie Breeder
White Paddle - Newbie
Black Paddle - "Black Hole" (More money than skill)
Gold Paddle - Master Breeder
When a Black paddle goes up at an auction, everyone else beats it
down.....
When a Gold paddle goes up, everyone bows in homage and doesn't contest
the bid......
When a White Paddle goes up, everyone advises him/her gently if it might
be a "difficult" fish to breed..... If he/she continues to bid, take
him/her to another room quickly until he/she sobers up...... If that
fails, let the Black paddle go back up......
Failure to adhere to these guidelines will result in them becoming
automatically part of the by laws, and hence then become official AKA
policy. Anyone caught stealing or borrowing another master breeder's
paddle will be banned from keeping killies and be sent home with a pair
of Convict cichlids and be advised to join the ACA.
These guidelines are necessary in order to save the hobby. They will
ensure that only the right people get the best fish while maximize the
AKA's profit to support the huge BOT salaries and bonuses.
Now... if you made it this far, my only wish is that we came up with
these ideas soon enough to make an April 1 post.
May the farce be with you.
Bill Vannerson
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