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Re: [APD] Ionizers, cure alls, magnetic water purifyers and other snake oils

Following on the tremendous success of "The Last Straw"
(literally hundreds of thousands sold everyday at
supermarkets, convenience stores, and neighborhood bodegas)
the product that let's you add CO2 to your aquaria at
virtually no cost for CO2, I'm are about to release a new
and exciting product. 

Coming soon: the magneta-opto-optimizer. It's effect is
similar to the antialiasing that your computer video card
performs to enhance the images on your computer dispaly.
But the magneta-opto-optimizer works with you aquarium by
realigning the photonic radiation in the air in a special
proprietary way -- similar to the way a magnet realiagns
particles into a more coherent pattern. The result is a
more coherent retinal stimulation. Now you can see fish
with even sharper images, higher apparent contrast, and
more distinct coloration.

Once you have a pair of the magneta-opto-optimizers, and a
suitable optometrist's prescription that is *personally
tailor* you, you will be seeing your aquaria in a new and
wonderful way.

Adaptable -- One size fits all. The remarkable infinite
adjustment properties of the magneta-opto-optimizer mean
that anyone can fir a pair to their own unique head shape
and size.

The price will be about $1,400 per pair, lenses not
included. The deluxe version, which includes a custom
maintenance kit, comprising a special nonabrasive fabric,
will be priced at $1,650. Shipping and handling, $250

Scott H.
Still undergoing research is "Coluber lubricant." A product
sure to end forever all your dry snake problems.

--- Vaughn Hopkins <hoppy1 at surewest_net> wrote:
> Darn!  Does anyone need a good ionizer?  Cheap?
> On Sunday, April 24, 2005, at 08:11 PM, Thomas Barr
> wrote:
> >
> > http://www.chem1.com/CQ/ionbunk.html 

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