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Joann's site and Arthur's forgotten discus

Seriously, people, I've been on this list for almost a year now, and I have 
NEVER laughed so hard while reading a digest. 

Joann, I am in awe.  To the Dutch Tank and the Amano Tank, we can now add 
the Joann Tank.  But how can *I* achieve such greatness? 

I have a 10g tank planted with "dwarf" sag, lobelia, mayaca, corkscrew val, 
and crypt wendtii; stocked with 5 rasbora hets and a dwarf gourami, plus 
some pond snails and MTS.  Substrate=Flourish, light=15w, adding Flourish 
Excel whenever I remember (about every other day on average).  I have a 
little algae growing as a film on the glass, but it's nothing like the vast 
billowing sheets and scummy clumps which one sees in a Joann Tank. 

What am I doing wrong? 

 - Erika