Re: Native Alaskans (was re: Eskimos)

["Charter" <charter at charter-terminal_com>]

> Date: Mon, 22 Jul 2002 13:58:01 -0400
> From: "Hopkins, Samuel" <Samuel.Hopkins at marconi_com>
> Subject: Eskimos 
> 
> Every time I see a website or book describing the environmental requirements
> of a plant or fish, for instance a GH 8.0, KH 5.0, PH 7.0, I laugh and think
> of this: 
> 
> What if aliens came down and captured an Eskimo for a pet. They'd bring him
> back to their planet and have on a species sheet: 
> 
> Eskimo will flourish if kept in the following environment: Keep at a
> temperature of less than 5 degrees. Feed sparingly and make him work hard
> for food. Give 24 hours of darkness for 6 months and then 24 hours of light.

Haven't you heard?  That's what all the alien abductions are all about.  
They're taking statistical samples. 

In fact, I bet right now there's a bunch of aliens frowning at their 
monitors, reading their alien mailing lists. 

"Help!  My humans are breeding, but I don't have anywhere to put the babies! 
Will the parents eat them?" 

"The TastyKake is sufficient as a snack treat/occasional reward, but I have 
found the Twinkie to be much more effective.  Do you think there's a trace 
element found in Twinkies which the humans crave?  Or do they just prefer 
the advertising?" 

"I'm trying to determine the exact O2 requirements for a family of 4.  I had 
been using an O2 reactor, but my humans kept getting wedged between it and 
the wall, so I think I'll switch to an airstone." 


 - Erika